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Emily Stulman Klein of Live a Joyful Life on Marital Success

Emily Stulman Klein of Live a Joyful Life on Marital Success

#HipNJ has teamed up with Emily Stulman Klein, founder of Live a Joyful Life, to help women  be successful in their marriages.

The following comes directly from Klein, and we hope it can inspire you today!

Getting married is EASY!  There are magazines, websites, books, shops, trained professionals, a millions resources to support you on your journey. From special bridal bootcamp yoga so your biceps will rock in your sleeveless gown to your very own wedding planner who will run your day with marine like precision, sporting everything from breath mints to black socks and everything in between.  Millions of women before you have walked in your white satin shoes.  And while some things have changed over time, themes, destinations, wedding for a cause, eco friendly, all in all, GETTING married is easy.
 
Your role is clear and defined, blushing bride, resplendent in white.  You’ve selected with care the venue, the rings, the honeymoon. You’ve choreographed everything from the entry music to the morning after brunch, without skipping a beat.  But when you return from exploring Marrakesh or hiking in Machu Picchu or lolling around your private bungalow in Bora Bora the real adventure begins. Your adorable fiancé is now your very real, ’til death do us part, sidekick for life.
 
The big question is no longer, “Will you marry me?”. That’s old news. The current and significantly more important query is “Now what, and how are we going to do this without getting completely lost in the process?”
 
At first, it’s fun, great even. The life of a newlywed is divine.  Husband, check. career, check-check, dual incomes, check-check-check.  You retain your identity, along with the newly minted “wife” title. You still have girls night, client meetings, all the parts of life that nourish and belong to you and you alone, in addition to the married couple world you’ve entered.  It’s the two of you against the world.  It’s terribly romantic.  You can’t even imagine what they were talking about when they said marriage was hard. Then one day, it hits you like a ton of bricks.
 
Usually it’s when you start a family, especially if you are “lucky enough” to give up that career of yours and stay home.  There is something about parenting that magnifies all the things you thought you talked about when you were planning your life together, if you had the cursory talk about what that would look like.  Then one day you open your mouth and your mother comes out. You close it horrified, looking around to see if anyone heard. Where did THAT come from, you wonder.
 
Each of you has your own blueprints and ideas about what married life will look like, and who will do what and then one day you’re home watching Elmo for the eleven millionth time in a row and he’s late because he’s stuck in traffic and you think “Shoot! What I wouldn’t give to be stuck in traffic, alone” and you find yourself jealous, angry, overwhelmed, unsatisfied. The thing you want more than anything in the world is 5 minutes to go to the bathroom by yourself and you think, “This is NOT what I signed up for”. Actually, it’s exactly what you signed up for, but it doesn’t have to be that way, I promise.
 
Enter, the pre-marital vision statement. It doesn’t sound very sexy but hear me out. It is, a wonderful, loving strategy to a happy and supportive life together. Some couples pre-marital tactic is the prenup, which by definition presupposes that the marriage won’t last. Insert sad / angry / bewildered emoji.  The vision statement, by contrast pre-supposes that you will be tested at times but rather than taking your marbles and going home, you will have a written reminder that you created together that focuses on the whys and vision of your marriage.
 
Creating such a document takes courage. Before the “I dos” is the time to bare your souls, tell the truth and really listen to what your partner says. Before “Will you marry me?” or immediately following, is the time to brainstorm, to dream, to envision your life together. It is not that single question at all, but a series. “Do you see me? Do you know me? Who are you? What do you believe? What do you value? Do you have my back? Have you shown me your soft, white, warty underbelly?  Have I shown you mine?” And when the terror of being seen has gone away because you have left it all on the table, then together you create your vision statement, based on freedom, not fear. And when you hit those rocky patches, and you will, and you’ll be ready.
 
Emily Stulman Klein, founder of Live a Joyful Life (www.liveajoyfullife.com) is a trust and authenticity expert. She believes in a world where every woman is happy, brave, fulfilled and free and that life is magical when we live it authentically.  She works with perfect women masquerading as imperfect wives and moms to to reclaim their authentic selves and co-create lives of impact and meaning.  To book time with Emily or to get help with your pre-marital vision statement, email her at emily@liveajoyfullife.com.
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17
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5:30 pm The Co-Co Connection: Artist’s T... @ The Co-Co
The Co-Co Connection: Artist’s T... @ The Co-Co
Sep 17 @ 5:30 pm – 7:30 pm
The Co-Co Connection: Artist's Talk and Reception featuring Gail Winbury @ The Co-Co
The Co-Co is hosting an Artist’s Talk and Reception featuring Gail Winbury. Join us to meet Gail, experience her art, and learn from her inspiring journey of life and career. In midlife, Gail Winbury drastically...
Sep
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8:30 am RISE & THRIVE: Women in Wellness... @ The Co-Co
RISE & THRIVE: Women in Wellness... @ The Co-Co
Sep 18 @ 8:30 am – 5:30 pm
RISE & THRIVE: Women in Wellness Panel + Co-Working Pop-Up @ The Co-Co
Are you a women leader in the business of helping people thrive? Join us for a conversation with this panel of local wellness leaders, creators and changemakers where we will discuss strategies for building a...
12:00 pm The Infernos Band, “Musical Odys... @ Legal Center, Newark
The Infernos Band, “Musical Odys... @ Legal Center, Newark
Sep 18 @ 12:00 pm
The Infernos Band, “Musical Odyssey” Summer Tour @ Legal Center, Newark
Infernos Band is coming to on tour in New Jersey this summer. The band will be playing in multiple places throughout there tour in the NJ area. Get ready for a night you’ll never forget!...
6:30 pm Taste of Italy @ Design Consign
Taste of Italy @ Design Consign
Sep 18 @ 6:30 pm – 9:30 pm
Taste of Italy @ Design Consign
Our 6th annual “Taste of Italy” will be held on September 18, 2018 in the beautiful courtyard of Design Consign. This wonderful evening will feature delicious Italian food catered by local Italian restaurants and wine...
Sep
19
Thu
6:30 pm Knit Night @ Scooch A Mi
Knit Night @ Scooch A Mi
Sep 19 @ 6:30 pm – 8:00 pm
Knit Night @ Scooch A Mi
Knit Crochet with Lovewas formed in November 2016 one cold winter afternoon when Richa Gupta and Sudha Pai started talking about their passion for knitting and on a whim decided to form a group to...
Sep
20
Fri
5:30 pm “Sidekicked” at Cape May Stage @ Robert Shackleton Playhouse
“Sidekicked” at Cape May Stage @ Robert Shackleton Playhouse
Sep 20 @ 5:30 pm – 10:00 pm
"Sidekicked" at Cape May Stage @ Robert Shackleton Playhouse
At our Cape May member party, join us for a plated dinner and a pre-show talk at Harry’s Bar Grille prior to seeing Sidekicked at Cape May Stage. In Sidekicked, it’s the last night of...
6:30 pm The Infernos Band, “Musical Odys... @ Senior Citizen Center, Monroe Township
The Infernos Band, “Musical Odys... @ Senior Citizen Center, Monroe Township
Sep 20 @ 6:30 pm
The Infernos Band, “Musical Odyssey” Summer Tour @ Senior Citizen Center, Monroe Township
Infernos Band is coming to on tour in New Jersey this summer. The band will be playing in multiple places throughout there tour in the NJ area. Get ready for a night you’ll never forget!...
Sep
22
Sun
2:45 pm The Discovery Orchestra Holds In... @ Delbarton School
The Discovery Orchestra Holds In... @ Delbarton School
Sep 22 @ 2:45 pm – 4:30 pm
The Discovery Orchestra Holds Interactive Discovery Concert @ Delbarton School
The Discovery Orchestra (the Orchestra) will kick off its 33rd season with Discover The Firebird, an interactive concert taped for national broadcast, on Sunday, September 22, 2019, from 2:45 PM to 4:30 PM ET at...
Sep
23
Mon
10:30 am 2019 NFL Alumni NY/NJ Chapter Ce... @ Trump National Golf Club “Old Course"
2019 NFL Alumni NY/NJ Chapter Ce... @ Trump National Golf Club “Old Course"
Sep 23 @ 10:30 am
2019 NFL Alumni NY/NJ Chapter Celebrity Golf @ Trump National Golf Club “Old Course"
The NY/NJ Chapter of the NFL Alumni is hosting a celebrity golf event at Trump National Golf Club “Old Course” in Bedminster, NJ, to benefit the Caring for Kids organization which helps local children’s charities....
Sep
24
Tue
10:30 am 10th Annual EWF Golf Event @ Forsgate Country Club
10th Annual EWF Golf Event @ Forsgate Country Club
Sep 24 @ 10:30 am – 5:00 pm
10th Annual EWF Golf Event @ Forsgate Country Club
The 10th Anniversary of our Annual EWF Golf Event! Please join us at the beautiful Forsgate Country Club for the 10th anniversary of our Annual Executive Women’s Forum Golf Event! Each year, this event brings...

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News collects all the stories you want to read

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